Silent confessions…..


Well, for the past many days,I have been making a long list of things that we don’t get to learn in schools.They don’t teach you how to laugh. You are not taught  how to love someone and moreover,you don’t get to learn how to care for someone you love. So,all in all, they don’t teach something worth knowing and fostering. Isn’t it?

My case has been the rarest of cases. The day I met you, I was caught in the shackles of loneliness. And today, when I look at myself,I find myself caught in the dichotomy. The dichotomy between Love and friendship, between trust and respect. I always knew that loving someone deeply means being vulnerable. Love someone deeply and your heart is bound to get tattered and broken. I wrapped it around with my selfishness,I even buried it deep inside the depths of darkness hoping that it would become impenetrable. But hearts are not made of rocks and stones. Love is quite similar to music, perhaps that is why our hearts have beats.

Moving further, Let me tell you that I am not perfect and you aren’t either. Both of us are selfish and self centered, aren’t we? But I love you despite your selfishness and bitterness. You have given me a lot of pain and ignominy. My heart lies sunken in the ocean of gloom but, at the end of it all,I would say You  have hurt me a million times but I still love you because you are perhaps the one worth suffering for.

Well, I am a common guy barely 21 years old. I am nothing special,of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I am leading a common life. I don’t have monuments dedicated to me and my name would soon be forgotten,but I have loved you with all my heart and soul and to me, this has always been enough. I love you without even knowing how,or when,or from where. I love you without any prejudices or desires. You are like a mirror to me. At times, you’ve disappointed me with your bitterness but, I could see myself in you. You showed me everything that was holding me back, you brought me to my own attention so that I could change my life, and I am really grateful to you for that. You are perhaps crazy,you call me a gem but I know that you lie to me everytime you say that but that lie instills a sense of positivity in me. I promise you that i’ll try becoming one.

I want you to go to sleep Let me tell you in your sleep how much I love you, For  there won’t be much left for me to say once you are awake but While you sleep , I can say things to you that would be silly and kiddish in real life and your dreams will know the truth about  them. The love I have for you is extremely kiddish. It is studded with stupidity,respect,friendship and a little bit of innocence as well. I fell in love with you without any reason,without even wanting to. I could not see it coming. Earlier, I was prepared for everything except you and now,I am prepared for nothing except you. Well, that is what you call love. Have you ever wondered why our ribs are cages? Well, that is because our hearts can’t be tamed once we fall in love. They become fearless and wild just like  the lions.

I can’t change the way this world looks at me, but I believe I can certainly change the world I live in. Even to this day,People misinterpret me, they run away from me for they believe I am a sadist speaking rubbish all the time but surprisingly, you never asked me to change myself. You accepted me as a friend. You accepted me for who I am . I feel complete whenever you are there by my side.

Let me be very clear, I don’t have those feelings of lust hidden inside me. I am  not at all tempted towards flesh. Love, according to me,looks way beyond  mere physical relationships. It means the presence of a single soul in two different bodies.

What turned my world upside down was your heart, a heart which has the courage to hold a rather large amount of gratitude. and respect. You have the sweetest of smiles and I know that they are there because they hide the deepest of secrets. But I have nothing to do with that, I love you simply because I love you, without any reason and I believe there is nothing wrong in it.

Well, I guess it is getting a bit too long now. I must stop here but I would like you to know that I wanted to say this to you for a long time now but I could not gather the courage to say it. I hope you will understand what I have just told you because no one except you can understand. I loved you ever since the chapter began but unfortunately I could not realize that the feeling of love was there. I took a bit too long to understand people as their identities were hidden behind the masks of selfishness. But I am happy to have found you finally. I’ll wait for you till I am there, till I am alive,I can’t promise you anything more than that.

“I love you because you accepted  me as a friend inspite of the fact that I am not perfect”

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