Of Love, Silence, and Separation…

I met her for the first time in November last year while we were on our way to attend a client meeting. It was one of those pleasantly sunny days in late November. It was windy, but it was bright and reasonably warm. Okay, let me give you some context. Continue reading “Of Love, Silence, and Separation…”

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Love in the times of insecurity…

Today, allow me to talk about love. Love isn’t the easiest thing to do.  A lot has already been written about love.  Playwrights such as Shakespeare (Romeo and Juliet)  Garcia Lorca (Blood Wedding) have written volumes about love. It is perhaps one of the most abused words in the Oxford English dictionary. If pop culture is taken into consideration, then every second film we get to see has an element of romanticism. But I am not trying to describe the way in which the entire concept of romance is portrayed on the big screen, and neither do I want to describe the kind of love that inspires renowned lyricists such as Gulzar sahib and Irshad Kamil to write heart-warming lyrics.

As a guy with a thin and lean built, I would like to write about a 24-year-old guy who struggles with insecurity and physical disability, a guy who has never had the privilege of dating a girl. Let me tell you what happens when a moron like me falls in love.

For the most part of my life (well, I am just 24), I was an introvert (I still am), but when love finally happened, I tried all that I could to live up to the expectation. I tried to materialize a date, but that didn’t work out. We tried reading a good book, containing romantic quotes and saying, but that didn’t work out either as she liked Instagraming and Whatsapping more than anything else. I tried cooking (well, boys do cook). I cooked an omelette, but eventually gave up the idea because she didn’t like it at all. Shortly after the break-up, I realized our excessive and rather unnecessary involvement in each other’s lives and careers had led to emotional attachment. The consequences were bound to be catastrophic.

I tried playing the typical Indian romantic hero, but I was scared. I wasn’t worried about her leaving me. I feared that my physical disability would make me unlovable. I was anxious. I was worried that she was tolerating me out of obligation. So, I started hiding behind work and online shows.

I must admit I am shy. I am shy of eating in front of too many people, quite unlike the guys who can eat without getting nervous. I am an introvert. I prefer sitting at home instead of going out and drinking beer with friends. I hate traveling long distances simply because I know I’d get tired pretty soon.

I would love to go out on an adventure with a lovely young lady if ever I get a chance. I would love to go out on a dinner date, and would love to eat sitting right in front of a lovely young woman if ever I get an opportunity. But somewhere at the back of my mind, I know that I am a lonely, boring, and an emotionally fragile guy. Every single day, I have to deal with an enormous amount of regret and guilt for not being able to deal with people. Many of you might think I am pessimistic, but I strongly feel that I am a bumper package full of sadness and boredom. I am not saying this because I am pessimistic, but because of my previous encounters with women (or girls), which, in all fairness, have been disastrous.

I have been in love and I know it is not tailor-made for a loner like me. To be honest, I think I have reached a stage where I wholeheartedly accepted my disability for I know I’d be consumed by my disability one day, but till that happens, I’d happily live with it.

Falling in love with me is difficult. My mood swings like a pendulum and I can’t help it. I find it quite hard to believe that I can be at the receiving end. But despite despondence, I try to get a bit closer to it. I’d like to be prepared for it when it comes looking for me.

 

Here’s how you can keep your marriage intact

Note: This blog was published first on Bonobology

“Marriages have become more complex than ever. There’ love, there’s trust, and there’s fun, but all of it is marred by misunderstanding, chaos, and countless ego clashes.” said my best friend as we were undertaking a leisurely stroll. Then, she told me how her husband screamed at her when she had accidentally lost her wallet which contained her husband’s pen drive. This young girl had tied the knot in October last year, but I could clearly see the fading splendour.

Then, there’s a male friend of mine who works as a copyeditor for a leading financial daily. His hectic schedule keeps him occupied even on weekends with a weekly off being the only saving grace. But surprisingly, he takes out time whenever he can in order to take his wife out for parties, get-togethers, and shopping.  He and his wife are happy with the way things are going and there married life is nothing short of perfect.

The concept of marriage is viewed differently by different people. Some people take it as a responsibility while others consider it to be nothing more than a burden. Ask 10,000 people about marriage and you’d surely get 10,000 different answers.

Whatever the definition of marriage might be, but the aspect that forms the essence of marriage is a couple’s ability to not just be delighted when they’re together, but also be derive joy and happiness out of the tiniest of things they do together.

Here are a few tips that might come in handy to keep your relationship on track:

Keep interacting with your partner: Communication helps keep misunderstandings at bay. Keep sharing the smallest of happenings with your partner. Take out some time to talk during the evening while you enjoy a hearty cup of tea. If you want to take the romance quotient a notch higher, then you can perhaps smile into each other’s eyes. Keeping these tiny bits and pieces intact would help you keep the relationship on track.

It’s perfectly fine if you aren’t available all the time: It’s a given fact that people are attracted to those who are beyond grasp.  It’s advisable to make sure that you have an exclusive set of friends. This would give you a set of exciting things (instances, photographs, and videos snippets) to share with your partner. Distance, at times, tends to bring two people closer.

It’s good to keep yourself well-groomed: It doesn’t always mean you have to keep up the make-up all the time. When I say well-groomed I don’t mean being groomed in the physical sense. Stay updated in order to keep the conversation sparkling and exciting.

Create a world that’s secure: It’s always good to keep certain things confined within the four walls of your house. Don’t hesitate to share your private moments with each other. Talk to your partner if you are feeling depressed. If there are things you don’t like, then it’s advisable to talk and sort them out.

Stop looking outwards: Your partner is the best match for you. As long as both of you keep respecting each other, you don’t need to search for ‘janam-janam ka pyaar’ beyond the one you already have. As long as you nurture this belief that you and your partner are made for each other, you’d be at peace with everything that you may come across.

 

It’s all a bit complicated….. :)

Gone are the days when people used to write a 1000 word long love letter in order to express their love. I’d like to believe Romeo, the famous lover in William Shakespeare’s romantic play Romeo and Juliet, the son of Montague, the Patriarch of the house of Montague,  must have written somewhere around 10,000 love-letters to Juliet, his beloved and the 13 year old daughter of Capulet, the Patriarch of the house of Capulet. Love used to be a relatively simple affair in those days ( I’d certainly like to believe that loving someone was far less tricky in those days than it is in the 21st century). Continue reading “It’s all a bit complicated….. :)”

Roses and thorns…..

I am back again, with yet another clumsily stitched story of mine. Since morning, I had been roaming around in the parks without companions. I just want to be left alone. I want to be left alone perhaps because I want to put the pieces together. I want to walk through the streets amidst sheer loneliness and silence because I want to hear the sound of my beating heart and that of my hollow footsteps. Continue reading “Roses and thorns…..”

I’ve got a picture; I’ve got an 8×10….

 For the past one week or so, I’ve been trying to click photographs. Ah, I am not at all good at taking pictures. I am perhaps the worst in the business when it comes to clicking photographs. Sometimes, the frame goes horribly wrong. If the frame happens to be rightly set, then the composition goes wrong. And if, in the rarest of cases everything goes right then I don’t know why and how the picture turns out be an extremely substandard one. By substandard, I mean to say a blurred image. Well, Photography is not at all meant for dreamers like me. But I still enjoy clicking random photographs without bothering much about the technical aspects of photography. Continue reading “I’ve got a picture; I’ve got an 8×10….”

Could you hear me?….

Well, I guess I need to be alone. I just want to put the pieces together. I want to ponder over my decisions and words amidst stun silence. I want to walk in the streets without companions. I want no conversations to happen and I just want to look at myself in the mirror, I want to look at my face which has turned red and pink because of shyness. I want to ask myself: “Was I wrong?” and if in case I was wrong, then “where in the world was I wrong?” I want an appropriate answer for all these questions which have been bumping into my mind out of nowhere. Continue reading “Could you hear me?….”

Figments and illusions…..


Well, for the past many days, I have been wasting my time sitting in front of a computer editing useless stories one after the other, day in and day out. I have been trying extremely hard to correct them,to make them absolutely error free. But unfortunately for me, I haven’t been successful in my  attempts perhaps because recurring failures seem to have overpowered me. Failures?, Oh I beg your pardon. Actually, It is not a case of recurring failures that has let me down. When I had a closer look at this trauma, I realized that these failures have occurred largely because of  half-hearted attempts. When I look at myself, I find myself stuck in troubled waters. Continue reading “Figments and illusions…..”